...Decisions...

I have made up my mind to what I want in the future. I know what I'd like to do. Still, the barrier is that in this society,  people don't want to give the chance to new comers in the field. People don't want to spend the time to train. I'm feeling like a failure. A lot of people that I graduated high school with are pretty high in their fields of work. I on the other hand couldn't even decide what I wanted to do in my life until just recently when I was given the choice to go back to school. So,  a little update on my situation is in order I'm sure. I've gotten accepted to the program I applied for,  fundraising management. However, my mother has decided not to fund my education. So I'm left without having a job since I've quit and have no intention on staying.  I've decided that I'm going to write to the agencies I want to work for with prospective letters. I've also decided to look for another part time retail job to have some source of income for the time being. 

I'd even work for a call centre if options are open. Ill be fine. I'll work out my options.  I do want to go to school for fundraising management.  So ultimately,  I will go back to school part time. 

Now that I have a goal in mind,  things don't seem so stressful. Anyways,  time to start work. Oh yay....

...june 22...

so i decided that i would quit.  getting paid is nice, but when you can't get higher than your rank, is it worth it to stay? at 12/hr i'm sure i can do better.  so i've decided.  I'll even take a part time job and volunteer to gain certain experience that i want for my dream job.  it's upsetting.  i'm 26 this august and i feel so unaccomplished.  it's sad i think no?  

so my final date will be june 22.  hope i get a job soontime. 

...school...

I vowed to look for a new job.  I did.  But I didn't really end up getting a new one.  Sadly, I have failed at getting a new job.  But in all honesty, I simply never gave myself the greatest opportunity to look.  If I wasn't busy with working, I'd be busy with life stuff like fixing my car, buying groceries and all that jazz.  

I've decided to go back to school.  Rather, I had applied to go fulltime to go back to school and volunteer (if possible) to get the job I want in the future.  At the time, I thought it was worth while.  It's for a program where all the skills for future jobs that I want are readily available.  At least I won't have to "lie" on my resume to get that job.  At the time, my parents said they'd support me since it's obvious that I have no where to go if I stay in retail.  I say at the time because my mother doesn't seem so enthused by my news that I got accepted to the program.  The bf has never really supported me with the idea of going back to school.  He believes I'll get the jobs I want even though I honestly don't have much (if at all) training in that field.  He says they'll train me.  

I have to start doing more things that I'm uncomfortable with.  I have to go meet more people.  My network is small.  Well, it's not really THAT small.  It's just that I haven't met all the right people to find me that job I'm looking for.  

But I'm going back to school for something I want to do. Since it's obviously something I want to do, maybe it's not too late to apply for volunteer positions for what I want to do.  I finally have a goal in mind.

However, now the biggest question is whether I go back to school or just volunteer for the same amount of time.....

...hiatus...

haven't felt like blogging in a long time.  I haven't really felt like doing much of anything these days.  i almost just come home from work and veg.  perhaps it's because of the 11 hour days i generally pull.  

need a new job.  hahah, i've been saying that for a long time no?  it's hard to get a new job when i have one.  it really makes me want to quit my job and be unemployed just to find that new job.  

i am thinking of volunteering at a place that will teach me to use a program called raiser's edge.  why?  if i'm pursuing certain jobs in the non-profit sector, most of the jobs that i really want require me to use this program.  Although I do not really need formal training for most computer programs, it would be nice to have it.  would be something i can claim on my resume.  However, blackbaud is pretty much the only company that sells a training program for it.  hahaha, great:P money i don't have have:P  but education has always been like that.  hence, i want to volunteer to learn the program.  the other option is work for a data entry company that uses that program.  maybe some data entry company would let me work for them?  i dunno.  

heh.  

options....

also opened an rrsp acount....yay...i always though i had one, but i was wrong.  

btw, apparently i have a 9% growth rate with my investments.  too bad i have so much osap debt to pay off that i can't invest more.  for the money i have saved, half of it would be going into osap.  i'll be bringing my debt down from 19k down to 15k at least! i'm excited.  in less than a year, i'll have brought my osap down 10k since i originally started with 25/26k....but i only make approximately 21k a year.....hahahaha.  so i find that feat impressive.  my mother helped me with 5k though.  so i am feeling a tad bad about that.  

should help my bf do some investment with his money too.  

i'm still excited to bring down my debt.  need a better job so i can bring it down faster.  they gave me 114 months to pay my student debt off.  but it seems i'll be able to pay it off much sooner:D  

like staying on a diet, i must be more disciplined.  i have 20 lbs to lose....go down from 165 to 145....ergs....feeling sooo heavy.  must eat better and have a healthier lifestyle.  

anyways, sorry for my all over the place update.  off to get ready for work now

...this too shall pass...

I hate auto correct. On another note, I have a great life. I have a great life. My job situation may suck ass, but at least I'm employed somewhere. I have a good life. I have a good life. I refuse to be in a bad mood. I refuse. I can change my situation. I can change my life. Just because my life isn't where you want it to be does not mean I won't get there. Invading my privacy so I can't think won't get me there any faster. When I tell you to leave me alone, leave me the hell alone. I have a good life. I have a good life. I have a good life. Ergs. Just leave me the hell alone until I've found my own place. When we talk it's always like a huge fire meteor hitting the earth. If you need to talk, choose a more fricking appropriate time. Either way.....just leave me the hell alone for at least a week.