October 13, 2012

  • ...Tears...

    There are a few questions on this topic.  Tears can be a general reaction to anything.  Pain, sadness, anger, frustration, joy, surprise, empathy.  

    Have you ever seen someone cry on the bus, or on a park bench or anywhere public?  Did you ever have a feeling to run up to them and comfort them?  I don't know about you, but when I see someone crying, I feel like crying with them.  Even if it's a complete stranger, generally I'd just want to sit right next to them, pat them on the back or something.  But maybe because I'm a crazy woman.  When people cry, I just think that they might say they want to be alone, but the truth is...NO ONE really wants to be alone carrying all their burdens of sadness alone.  But as a stranger, people don't welcome random strangers to carry their load even if they are willing.  

    But that's not really what raises most of my questions.  My main question is why is it that it is "shameful" to be emotional?  When did being able to express yourself become such an unwanted thing?  Sure, being able to conform to "emotional standards" would be fine and dandy, but when did the norm become one that means you could only express joy/happiness and frustration/anger?  Even now, being happy and angry have been limited.  There's just so many definitions on what's healthy these days.  

    The other question that riddles my mind is this: When in history did being "emotional" deem you to have some psychiatric issue?  Honestly, why have humans tried to be so....um...what's the word i'm looking for?  oh right! When did humans try to be so un-human?  Yeah yeah, unhuman doesn't exist, but inhuman just doesn't seem to fit my need.  I just feel that we have gone beyond labeling what is "healthy" emotional behaviour and started to label everything "extreme".  Maybe that's just my understanding though.

    I never understood why so many men I know are ashamed when they cry.  Heck, I know enough women who are ashamed when they cry.  Though I must say, most women are ashamed to cry because they don't want to look like a mess and seem "crazy".  Men though, don't want to cry because they think it makes them weak.  I just say this, crying makes us human.  What makes you cry might not be what makes someone else cry, but there's no need to be ashamed is there?  

    Lots of people think that being strong means that we don't show emotions.  I don't know where that started.  But the thing is, to be strong, we must know ourselves.  THAT means we MUST know what makes us feel the way we do.  

    So I guess.  My last question is WHY and WHEN has being strong become equated with showing no emotion?