April 5, 2012

  • ...futureless wedding...

    Perhaps I'm being cruel, but I just want to know. 

    Would you marry a person you know you have no future with?  no, I'm not saying that you marry a jerk or an ass.  I'm asking whether you'd marry someone who is terminally ill.  You know you have no future with this person, so won't your vows be a lie?  or rather, won't your vows only last for a very short time?  Plus your vows would be a lie, you can't just love the person till their dying day, you WILL love them long after they're gone. 

    I guess it depends.  how important is it to me that I get married?  Sure, I'd love the idea that someone loves me enough to marry me even though I would be dying soon.  But at the same time, what about someone else' mental trauma?  how do you mentally prepare someone to have such a happy moment only to be ripped from you a little down the road?  You marry the person going into this commitment knowing that it will end soon.  I guess it wouldn't really matter anyways though.  If someone truly loved you, regardless of health status, that person would love you till your dying day. 

    Why do I write this?  An acquaintance of mine recently married her terminally ill husband who passed away yesterday.  recently married as in married last month.  Even looking at their pictures, reading about their bio (on fb by the way), I'm moved to tears.  But I just can't help wonder.  It's like that character in house where you find out her first marriage was to a sick man.  House asks if it was charity. 

    At the same time, the realistic me is saying, who paid for this grand wedding?  even if it's a small wedding that's a few thousand dollars...who paid for all that?  but the point isn't the money for this wedding.  The wedding was prearranged, it was someone's dying wish. 

    I just kinda see this dying wish as something a tad selfish.  You make vows to be happy together for the rest of your lives only to know that you can't really fulfil it- the rest of your life is really short.  I think it's cruel.  But of course marriage is based on 2 people's decision. 

    I know this entry sounds like a slap in the face.  It's not that I knew the person very well.  But....my heart still goes out to her.  I just can't help thinking if I were in HER situation.  What would I have done?  Couldn't I be truly happy on my wedding day?  I don't know...

    anyways....what are your thoughts?

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