I'm 26 and don't really have a single clue as to what the heck I want to do with the rest of my life.  okay, forget about the rest of my life.  Let's just begin by saying that I'm unemployed and don't know where my next place should be.  I was in retail for a bit over 2 years.  Does that set me back a lil?  It probably does a little, but really, are these skills non-transferable?  To believe so is stupid.  

I never thought I'd live past graduating university for some reason.  So, this makes it hard- to plan a life where you never imagined one.  

Yes, I'm stuck in that typical post-graduate rut.  Some people tell me to be picky about the jobs I want.  Others tell me to take whatever the heck comes my way.  me?  I don't know what the hell I want.  I just know that I want a job.  Something that I'm not only good at, but something that I'll truly enjoy.  

I went to school of Social work and Teaching English as a second language.  Looking back, did I go to school for stupid programs?  Even if I didn't, I'm feeling quite useless now.  All the social work jobs I want, I apply- and nothing.  Teaching jobs?  don't get me started.  I'm truly jaded at the entire thing- teaching English as a place just for socialization?  egh.  I feel like my efforts are all wasted if that's the case.  No, it's not that I've had students that don't care and are disrespectful.  But just to hear that the students have been ones students for more than 10 years makes  me feel that it is a pointless endeavor.  I don't EVER want to feel like what I'm doing is useless.

Everyone tells me to not get disappointed, but one day into the full time job searching after 4 hours of applying and I can't help but feel that i'm actually useless.  

Not having an idea of what to do next and being driven don't mix.  Right now, I'm just gonna let myself cry and wallow in my own pit of misery for a few hours before i do some more job searching and applying.  I think that's what I need to do to calm myself.  bleh

on a side note, why the hell does my house smell like fracking mildew?  damnit! change the whole a/c system now! everything smells shitty and i can't stop sneezing! 

it's time for a new start.  i just finished my last day of work.  on the drive home, i couldn't really stop crying.  I didn't even think I'd be that upset.  But it's all okay, it's time to move on with my own life.  Hopefully I won't have to do any more 11 hour days.  yay right?  

Here goes to finding myself a new job! going to email a school about the program i want to get into.  

not excited to be broke>.<

anyways, that's all that's "new" 

weeeeee......

I have made up my mind to what I want in the future. I know what I'd like to do. Still, the barrier is that in this society,  people don't want to give the chance to new comers in the field. People don't want to spend the time to train. I'm feeling like a failure. A lot of people that I graduated high school with are pretty high in their fields of work. I on the other hand couldn't even decide what I wanted to do in my life until just recently when I was given the choice to go back to school. So,  a little update on my situation is in order I'm sure. I've gotten accepted to the program I applied for,  fundraising management. However, my mother has decided not to fund my education. So I'm left without having a job since I've quit and have no intention on staying.  I've decided that I'm going to write to the agencies I want to work for with prospective letters. I've also decided to look for another part time retail job to have some source of income for the time being. 

I'd even work for a call centre if options are open. Ill be fine. I'll work out my options.  I do want to go to school for fundraising management.  So ultimately,  I will go back to school part time. 

Now that I have a goal in mind,  things don't seem so stressful. Anyways,  time to start work. Oh yay....